Filed under: Uncategorized
This is the new “Tiramisu”!
Strawberry sc
Anyway my colleague made almond jelly for us. Naturally the shape has to be HK because she’s a die-hard fan of HK:
Big head
- Small heads
Filed under: Uncategorized
Have been worrying about several things lately. Just have this naggy feeling inside me which probably means that I have many things left unsettled. And I’ve been feeling bad about quite many things. Then I realise I just don’t like growing up.
Did a bit of house cleaning with my mum today. As usual, she kept wanting to throw things while I’ll try to keep them. I can even try to retain receipts because they remind me of the events that took place. I really keep a lot of junk. Even my colleagues at work give me plastic bags to keep. I asked my mum who will be the one helping her with house cleaning if one day, I’m not living with them anymore. She said that it will make things easier cuz she’ll just dump everything away.
Had dinner outside with my family. Got to treasure times like these when we can still enjoy good food together. My dad and sister are always bickering over the tiniest things. I just try to make jokes out of their conversations to keep the atmosphere light. My dad is quite childish, always trying to irritate my sis cuz he knows she’ll be pissed. I wonder what kind of relationship they shared in their previous lives to become like this now. Their attacks are really silly. Over dinner, my sis talked about saving money. And her wish to go overseas to study. Tears just welled up in her eyes. I could see it..
I wonder what is going on in my grandmother’s mind. The thing that has been bothering me are the replies she gets whenever she asks a question. The replies she gets are almost always the same , all Uh-s and Orh-s. Our conversations with her barely lasts longer than 3 minutes each time. It is that bad. It’s both the language barrier and her deteriorating sense of hearing. I don’t really know what to do about this. But I’ll be more patient with her.
How is my life going to turn out? Will I be able to keep the things that I have now? I think about the people I care about all the time. Guess I’m just afraid of losing their love for me.
Filed under: Reflections
Yay I feel like writing.
It’s been 4 months since I’ve been working. It’s a place with great culture and nice people. Actually, I’m very fortunate to have landed with this job when I wasn’t looking enthusiastically for one. I am grateful to have income and not have to wake up early in the morning. But something is just missing because I feel so. Work has been taking up too much of my time but I have to work. I shouldn’t be grumbling, really, at this point of economic turmoil with the company being bought over. I’ll just see how things go.
I went to church with my sister this morning. They were having a guest service. I wanted to understand her life better, not just to please her by going. Frankly, the sermon was thought-provoking at some points, but I was always having questions in my head. I can see and understand why many young people are picking up this religion and committing to it. And I can’t say I don’t believe in the existence of God cuz who knows? During the service, the guest pastor referred to non-Christians as “the world out there”. The topic was “Real Joy”, which according to a psychiatrist in “the world out there”, there’re 3 levels in attaining authentic happiness – pleasure, purpose, personal engagement. He does not disregard this theory but says it’s upside down. According to many verses in the bible, one will have real joy once personal engagement is established with God. In other words, there’s no need to fulfill the first 2 levels of pleasure and purpose because these will come when one accepts Christ.
I guess its the way you view and respond to things around you. If it makes you happy and not at the expense of others, then go ahead and do what you want.
My mum called when we were at the church. She sounded worried but I gave her lots of assurance. Haha.
Feel like going somewhere with some good company 
Filed under: Reflections
Death comes naturally with age. I’m feeling really old now.
One of my grandmothers has passed away. This side of the family is not so close to us but I’m not so cold-hearted as to not feel a single thing over the span of the funeral.
It’s during the last day when you truly feel the sense of loss. During the short route when we escorted her, I really felt sad. Maybe the dead doesn’t feel anything, but the living certainly does. So lonely and cold and dark.
During the cremation, I saw my mum trying to hold back her tears. She must be thinking of her parents, the grandparents I always think of every now and then. I think it’s so scary. There’s nothing you can do except to accept the fact that your parents are gone. You stand at the viewing gallery, watch the coffin being pushed into the fire. Then you collect the ashes and put them up for prayers. Life goes on.
It’s such a dramatic process. I don’t know how I can handle it when the time comes.
Life is really too short to have any regrets. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Tell your loved ones that you love them.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Contrary to popular belief,
it doesn’t seem to get better at all.
What’s wrong?
So fast.
It’s the end of 3 months.
Reluctant to step out of my comfort zone and part with the wonderful people I’ve met.
Sian.
Keep having this feeling of not wanting tomorrow to come. Very similar to pre-exam mood. Haha.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I really look forward to the day when my sister will stop pissing me off.
On a happier note, I had crabs 2 days in a row! And I don’t feel guilty at all! Yummy. Of course I had to rope in James in this quest for high cholesterol.
Btw last Friday I took the train to work. It’s an awesome feat. I quite like it actually. Don’t judge me! I know I should save up my allowance but I’m just pampering myself before I take train for the rest of my work life. Hehe. Well, nothing much to look forward to on Mondays-Fridays other than dinner. Sometimes they’re not even appealing looking at the kind of choices I have. Think cup noodles turn me on better.
I found the Nissin instant macaroni online can?!
Yucks I hate to blog pointlessly..
Filed under: Uncategorized
I’m such a sour person. My family left me out for lunch. I was so angry I lost my appetite.
I want to have the room to myself. I don’t want anyone to see me cry. Even crying can’t help. I want to find another outlet. Maybe I can start swearing.
Actually who bothers. And who really listens? I just need a long lasting hug that’s sincere, comforting and warm.
I am so pissed that people keep throwing me their useless opinions. Seriously, I don’t care. Go and do your own stuff. The right stuff. And tell me something else.
I went into the room and I left my signature without thinking. Then I regret. And I un-regret. And I just forget about it.
I am going to sleep. With my contacts on. Without showering. And who cares about panadol.
